Sacko Watch - Week 5

Weasel Asswipe DBag (Chris)

It’s not easy to write about yourself, at least that is what I say in my Bumble profile. I am sure many of our readers are curious and excited about this summary. I FUCKING LOST GUYS, I GET IT! After a 4-0 start, I began to get the same optimism as I did in 2018 when I DID GO UNDEFEATED IN THE REGULAR SEASON AND LOST TO ZACH IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP. I am honestly glad I lost this week. The pressure of continuing the undefeated regular season has been eliminated and I can focus on the finally winning this league. Oh, and by the way I am honored to lose to Trevor as I have been writing all season long, his team is better than his record.

Prediction: Trevor makes the playoffs in 2020.

Hold by Beer (Gavin)

Hopefully, Gavin’s spirit this season is stronger than Dak’s ankle. You can’t win in the MFFL if you throw up less than 100 points. You also have a 0.0% chance of winning when you play the highest scoring team. Call it a double doink in the pecker for Gavin this week. Gavin drops out of the playoff hunt, as the injuries continue to pile up for him. Add Dak to the already impressive list of Julio Jones, Austin Ekeler and Tarik Cohen.

Hot Lockett (Matt D.)

Hate to see someone lose by .26 unless it’s our beloved Sacko. Starting the season 1-4 and competing with Sarros, and the already tanking Dan is not the company you want to be with. There are not any bright spots on his team, and he will miss the playoffs this year. Matt has already reached out to multiple MFFL Members to start “rebuilding” process. I would recommend he stands pat and let Sarros and Dan blow up their teams. He would hate to be our 1^st two-time Sacko but we would all love to see it.

The Great Goatse (Ryan)

Tuesday Night Football was awesome for everyone, besides Ryan. With the small chance of winning with Josh Allen and Gabriel Davis while his opponent Zach had Jonnu Smith. Zach won in a blowout fashion which now leads to Ryan being in a position he isn’t familiar with. Usually being a heavy buyer during the trade deadline, expect Ryan to SELL SELL SELL! As he doesn’t care about wearing the dress! He has very valuable trade assets. Expect Ryan to rebuild for next season as the trading deadline inches closer with the expectation to unload Josh Allen, Chris Godwin, Kareem Hunt, David Johnson and Travis Kelce…wait, how is this guy 1-4?

Prediction: Ryan Sarros will have at least multiple picks in the first 5 rounds for the first time in his career.

Hail Mary (Kevin)

Kevin’s brilliant plant to outbid Jon for Tre’Quan Smith didn’t go as planned. What a waste of $17! Kevin drops to 2-3 while no one can tell if Jon is committed to this season or just got lucky. Regardless, it’s an awful loss for Kevin after being a heavy favorite this week.

The Hebrew Hammer (Matt O.)

After starting the season 2-0, our favorite Jew is on a 3-match losing streak. Matt Ryan was an eyesore for him, but not as much as leaving Chase Claypool on the bench as he erupted for 42.6 points. Matt said fuck him and dealt him along with Joe Burrow and a 2021 6^th Rounder to the heavily favored 2021 Sacko. In doing so, he acquired the underperforming Fantasy MVP from last year. If Lamar Jackson continues to underperform this season, expect this Mench to be out of the playoffs, but also out of the Sacko race.

TheMooseIsAlive (Dan)

Dan continues to impress no one in the MFFL and has locked up an 0-5 start. By trading Lamar Jackson and an 8^th Round pick shows he has given up on the 2020 season and is looking to 2021. Acquiring Joe Burrow provides him with his QB Keeper for 2021, while also moving up a couple rounds in the process. However, he did trade his best trade asset and could not receive a Top 4 Round pick in return. Anticipate Blueman to be wearing a dress next year.

Current Yahoo Projections: