Week 5
Injury Report

Boys, I know it may be inconvenient, but this Tuesday night football thing is the Tits! Not only that but the almighty Chris Barker finally lost his first game, this waffle stomping was brought to you by the former Sacko union, as Trevor reached his long schlong all the way from the golf course to tickle Barkers taint.

Lets get down to the nitty-gritty and see who’s team is hurt the most from this past week of action:

Gavin loaded up his amazon cart with muscle relaxers and liquid IV with 2 day shipping to Dak Prescott’s house, in hopes he gets over that crazy cramp soon. Sadly it looks like Dak will be watching the rest of the season from his sleep number as doctors look to reattach his ankle so he is ready for the 2021 season. With Carr on a bye you can bet that Gavin will be on his knees begging for the Red Rocket to show him some love.

Sammy Watkins looks to be out for a couple of weeks, this didn’t stop Trevor from rolling over Barker and his 3 nicknames, handing him his first loss of the season. This injury shouldn’t affect Trevor in the coming weeks as he was prepared with WR depth and the heart of a champion. Trevor looks to keep the win streak alive against our current Sacko in week 6.

Dan the Man has gone through more players this year than anyone I know. It will be interesting to see if he has any of his draft picks left by the end of the year. DJ Chark and Russel Gage both had late game injuries with a shoulder and ankle. Nothing to report as of yet on their status but Dan can’t afford any more loses as he still looks for that elusive first win. Maybe look to Dietrich for some tips on going from first to worst and maintaining your sanity.

Dalvin Cook seemed to have a black mamba injury as he pulled up from a non-contact injury holding his groin. Hopefully this keeps him out of the lineup against me next week as I am dying for an easy win. Unfortunately tony was smart and picked up Mattison and will hope that he puts up the same production as Cook.

Keenen Allen after scoring a TD early decided that he would rather hang out with Crafts massage therapists than help me make a run at a comeback win. A few rub and tugs later and it looks like he will be ready to suit up week 6 and help me get my 4^th loss in a row.

Ol Big Ball Baker Mayfield took a shot to the chest late in his game against Indy. X-rays came back negative so he will go back to jakes bench and wait patently for tom Brady’s bye week so he can have his time to shine on jakes surprisingly 4-1 team.